Walk tall, you're a daughter, a child of God

I see my mother kneeling with our family each day.
I hear the words she whispers as she bows her head to pray.
Her plea to the Father quiets all my fears,
And I am thankful love is spoken here.

Mine is a home where ev’ry hour is blessed by the strength of priesthood pow’r,
With father and mother leading the way,
Teaching me how to trust and obey;
And the things they teach are crystal clear,
For love is spoken here.

I can often feel the Savior near
When love is spoken here.

-Love is Spoken Here, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints Primary Hymn Book

I started out attempting to write an entry about an amazing experience from this morning, but as I began to type, a very special song from my childhood popped up in iTunes. Just after the song ended, a conversation with an amazing friend got me thinking about hopes and dreams. I sat and pondered the future, and "where do I want to go," replaced "what am I going to do along the way," which in turn, changed the direction of my entry. Sure, my adventures will be amazing, and will shape the person I want to become, but what is one of the goals I'm working toward? This is where that very special song comes into play.

"Love is Spoken Here" was always one of my favorite songs when I was in Primary. Growing up, I had two families. One LDS, one non LDS. I had different experiences within each family, both good and bad, that helped to make me the person I am today. In my LDS family, the clashing schedules of each of my brothers, my father, my step mother and myself were enough for any family to say "there's just not time for things like Family Home Evening, Sunday Dinner, family prayer, and things of that nature." My step mother was always sure to make that happen for us. She made it a priority to prepare a meal to appeal to all the varying degrees of tastes of my family members. She made sure we had Family Home Evening once a week, even if we had to combine it with Sunday Dinner. I have memories of playing Mexican Train Dominoes, scripture study, laughing and teasing with my brothers, discussing my day with my parents, and many humble moments, both amusing and spiritual. It's now that I realize that, as a culmination of my experiences as a child, I have a testimony of the importance of Family Home Evening and Sunday Dinner, and it's profound impact on a family. Even if we were too busy to gather during the week, Sunday Dinner was always a time where we could catch up, discuss our trials and triumphs, and just simply grow as a family. I am thankful for these moments, even if I wasn't always too pleased with them in the past. ;)

In my non LDS family, fun was the name of the game. My five brothers and sisters and I created and played many games. Being of varying ages, we all had our different takes on what "fun" could be. We played all sorts of games; hide and go seek (with every child in a quarter mile radius, I might add!) slip and slide, throw stuff off the balcony (that was a favorite!) and every board and video game we could get our hands on. We ran like a pack. We had our issues, as every family did, especially blended families. Some days it would be Foremans vs. Salas', but, for the most part, at the end of the day the feud was over and we were all friends again. I love my brothers and sisters, and I appreciate them for teaching me the value of fun. My mom worked hard to care for all of us, so she wasn't around much in my adolescent/teenage years, but I appreciate the sacrifices she made to support our family. Even though we weren't the closest when I was going through my adolescence, now is our time, and I'm looking forward to our future adventures and the memories we will create.

Getting back to my original reason for posting - my goals. When I hear that song, I think about the example I want to set for my future little ones. I think about what I want to do to help shape those little ones hearts and minds, to make them the wondrous people I am given the honor to care for.

Simply put, I will be married in the Temple someday. I want an Eternal Family.

I can remember countless lessons in Young Women's admonishing us about unsavory activities, relationships, and actions, and how they tarnish our souls. I was a prideful child, and thought I would never be in that position, and if I was, I would resist and be just fine. I was wrong. I lost hold of the rod seven years ago and thought, "That's it. I'm gone. I'll never make it back. Game over." I wrote off temple marriage as a pipe dream, something I'd never have. Countless times I'd regretfully open my scriptures to the last few pages before the back cover and, with a heavy heart, read over my Patriarchal Blessing, and see where I could be if only I had followed the commandments, listened to the Holy Spirit to keep me strong in the face of temptation, and relied on my Savior to help shoulder my burdens. Eventually the shame was so much, I stopped opening my scriptures. Soon after, I stopped praying. The Holy Spirit was gone. I was all alone.

The journey back has not been an easy one, but I'm getting there. I'm taking the appropriate steps to ensure that someday, I will be worthy to enter through those hallowed doors, hand in hand with my future Eternal Companion. Oh, the adventures to come are much more inspiring than ever before.